It’s Oscar time and we all stare at the photos of the celebs dressed up and looking beautiful and then promptly look at ourselves and create the list of how we don’t measure up.
Well, they are not sitting in their homes watching television and going about their day to day activities looking the way they show up on the red carpet. They don’t wake up that way. They have a tribe – people who they depend on to help them look good.
Why, then, do we feel like it is an extravagance or like we are cheating when we go to experts to help us look & feel good? And why are some things OK to pay for and others not? And some things, only on special occasions (meaning we have to impress someone, even if it’s only in our imagination).
For instance, we are alright with a weekly manicure, and going to the gym, but it’s over the top to pay for a personal trainer. And we’ll get a blow out and our makeup done for a wedding, or significant event (especially our high school reunion, am I right?).
But it’s not respectable to have these same things done for a portrait. Oh no, that’s vain. I’ve got news for you, these celebrities are having themselves made up for a portrait. Granted, it’s a portrait that will be seen by more people than our portrait most likely is, but is there a certain number of views that make it acceptable to use stylists?
Think about it, our photographs will be passed down from generation to generation, so in reality we will be living on for eternity, not looking our best because of some made up standard.
Why do we think we do not deserve to look our best. Why do we think we can do it ourselves, when in reality most of us are not trained cosmeticians? And then we complain that we never look good. We say are “just not photogenic” and refuse to exist in photographs.
It’s not reality to expect to look like a celebrity on a daily basis, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. And truth be told, our loved ones are not sitting around making a list of our faults. They love us for who we are.
We deserve to look our best, and those that come after us deserve to see us at our best. So the next time your photographer offers you makeup & hair styling, even if it is “just” for a headshot, don’t fight it. Enjoy the time to yourself. Enjoy the pampering. You have earned it.
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Name: Kelly Schaefer
Business: Task Complete https://taskcomplete.com/
Business: The Concierge Academy https://theconciergeacademy.com/
Task Complete is an errand and concierge service that delivers professional and reliable services you need to reduce the stress that can come from the demands of daily life. From running those time-consuming errands to waiting for the serviceperson, from event planning to senior services, we can check off your to-do list so you can focus on those things that demand your personal attention.
As creator of The Concierge Academy, Kelly uses her passion and ninja marketing skill to teach fellow entrepreneurs how to make more money, live their passion of caring for others, increase their impact on the work and live their best concierge life.
How would you describe yourself? Hard exterior – squishy in the middle! I say what’s on my mind – don’t ever ever cross me! But I care more deeply then most people you’ll ever meet
What inspired you to start your business? Watching people struggle to truly “live” their lives.
How long have you been involved in your business? Over 7 years
What do you like most about what you do? At a core – it’s always about taking care of people.
What keeps you motivated? The stories my team share with me – knowing that we put love and kindness into someone’s life today.
How do you think being a woman in business has affected you? It has been the biggest stretch in my own self-awareness. I was always a confidant person – until I started my business, and all of a sudden, I became full of fear and lacked confidence. I felt as if I could never become “enough” – therefore it has been my greatest personal development teacher.
What’s next for you and your business? 2 years ago I started training others in my industry to build successful and profitable business. I wrote a book last year and my goal is to get it in as many hands as possible! Up next – a 2 day workshop where I’m hosting people from all over the country – and Canada!!
If you couldn’t be in your present career what would you do? Back up dancer It’s ALWAYS been to be a back up dancer!!
On your playlist – anything from Seether to The Greatest Showman Soundtrack – my playlist is like my personality and my closet – eclectic!
Next vacation This year is wildly exciting as I am traveling outside the US for the very first time!! I’m headed to Paris and then Italy!! And … we’re headed to Hawaii!
Favorite quote: Whatever new slang my kids teach me in the moment.
Favorite thing to do in your spare time: Too many things to mention! Walk!! I could walk for hours. Dance… Read. Sit and day dream. Horseback riding. Just to name a few!
Do you know someone you think is a Brilliant Woman: Tell us about her in the comments. We're always looking for someone to highlight!
Ellen DeGeneres celebrated her 60th birthday last week and it got me thinking about confidence, being comfortable in your own skin, and accepting (yes even loving) yourself as you are. “I had a really tough time and it was very difficult when I had to hide who I really was and it was incredible when I was not only accepted for who I am but given awards for it,” she said.
We often hear “love yourself first”, but what does this mean? We tend to think that this is narcissism, so we immediately refuse to acknowledge our attributes, especially our physical ones.
Somehow we learn that it is not socially acceptable to enjoy, celebrate and certainly not tell anyone (that’s bragging) about our victories. So we focus on our imperfections.
But just like we don’t see others as a list of shortcomings, we need to afford ourselves the same courtesy. Here are some things that I think loving yourself really means:
1. Having the courage to forgive yourself. It means being able to acknowledge your humanity, and to not let it be a source of internal hatred. To understand that not forgiving yourself is the harshest criticism, and that nobody in your life will be able to love you until you forgive yourself for being human. Embrace your perfectly flawed self; it’s what makes the world so beautifully diverse and interesting.
2. Understanding that not your weight, nor your hair color, nor your choice of clothing, nor the funny way your stomach rolls when you slouch down makes you any less attractive than anybody else. There is not only one way to be beautiful, and loving yourself means realizing your own beauty for what it is, not in the context of how you look compared to anyone. (And P.S. your stomach is supposed to create rolls when you bend, ever try to bend a Barbie?)
3. Knowing not everyone will love you, and that not everyone has to. If you are being true to yourself, and somebody has a problem with that, that is their negative energy to deal with, not yours. Loving yourself means knowing that you will never have the love, praise and approval of absolutely everyone you meet, but that doesn’t reflect anything about who you are.
How is someone else going to think you’re totally awesome when even you don’t think you are? A: they’re not. The greatest thing loving yourself means is that once you do, you’re better equipped to let the world love you as well.
So take note of Ellen’s birthday request, “Just be who you are. Share yourselves with the world. We’re all supposed to be different and unique. Trust you are going to be accepted because honesty is always rewarded.”
Laura Templeton is the CEO & Founder of 30 Second Success. She helps you and/or your sales team create that branded message that gets you the attention you deserve, crafting a 30 second commercial that resonates with your audience, and drives more business to your door. She is a business connector, mentor, and consultant. “I truly believe that you have a message that your audience deserves to hear and that you have the clarity and confidence to deliver it.”
What inspired you to start your business?
I saw a need within the networking community for helping people improve their 30 second commercials.
What do you like most about what you do?
Getting to learn people’s stories! I love people and I love getting to know them and what inspires them to do what they do.
What keeps you motivated?
People! I love to see the transformation that happens when a client steps into owning their 30 second commercial with clarity and confidence.
How do you think being a woman in business has affected you?
I believe that being a woman gives me the ability to approach my client work with greater compassion and understanding which allows me to see into the authenticity people bring to their business. It’s all about the heart for me.
Essential business philosophy
Never stop learning.
What advice would you give to an inspiring entrepreneur or student?
Don’t be afraid to fail, but always be willing to start over with renewed faith and understanding.
What is your definition of success?
The opportunity to do something you love each and every day, whether it is raising your kids, building a billion dollar empire, or both. Success is the definition you give it, it isn’t what defines you.
What’s next for you and your business?
I recently launched 3 new online courses: Finding Your Ideal Client, Crafting Your 30 Second Message, and Maximize Your Network. Now I need to learn how to launch them and get the word out about these amazing tools for supporting people who use networking as part of their marketing strategy.
If you couldn’t be in your present career what would you do?
Open an archery school with my husband (That is actually a goal of ours.)
What is something that people don’t know about you?
I was a majorette when I was 8 years old and I loved it! I still have my baton and twirl from time to time.
Favorite food or beverage:
Know someone you think is a Brilliant Woman? Tell us about her in the comments. We’re always looking for someone to highlight.
Are you snap happy? After vacation, a celebration or just going to dinner- are you left with an over flowing camera roll? Do you believe that a live well lived is a life well documented? What happens when documenting leaves you feeling overwhelmed?
Is it time to organize your photo life?
Sometimes it’s necessary to take multiple shots in order to maximize your chances of getting “the one”. For instance capturing babies (doing anything) or busy pets. The key to this is to choose your favorites right after shooting. The first thing I do is cull them — deleting any and all images that are blurry, accidental bursts, closed eyes or poorly lit. This helps me spend time editing the photos that are the ones I love the most, and it also helps me feel less overwhelmed when it’s time to choose what images I want to share to social media or print. Once I have narrowed a batch down, put all of my favorites into one folder. (When you press the star button below the photo, it goes into the already-set-up favorites folder). Then, I edit those few which best represent the moment I was trying to capture.
Start using the albums tool on your phone to organize your memories. Create albums based on both the year & occasion so you have a place for every picture that is meaningful. Add photos into their corresponding album as you go — it’s so much easier to find them in there than in the depths of your camera roll. By organizing your best shots intentionally it’s easy make gifts or just find to show or refer to later (collecting photos for that renovation?).
Consider using a few apps to help stay organized. First, iCloud photo sharing (which is already on the iphone with iOS). Here, you can make different collections and allow others to contribute (perfect for making a shared book for a friend or family member!). Ypu can also use Google PhotoScan to scan so that all of my photos are in one place — on your phone. Also, Google Photos is a great tool for backing up / auto-organizing your photos. At the end of every few months, upload all of your photos there.
Creating stylish and minimal photo books straight from your phone is simple. So easy that, you can make one every year! For birthdays, milestones, holidays — anything is an excuse to print out my images. Tangible memories. You can rest easy at night knowing that your photos exist — in real life. But– they ultimately end up on an external hard drive, in case of the apocalypse. You know.
Be sure you get them saved in a 2nd location (like an external hard drive or even a USB stick). Then put that in your fire box or safe deposit box.
Don’t risk losing your family history, by keeping them ONLY on the phone.